Wherever You Go
by BamBam42
Summary: Life Never goes the way you planned it. When Bella goes on an international exchange for her final year of high school nothing is left unchanged, tragedy rips through her life. M for lemons. EXB, AH, AU. R
1. Prologue

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, if i did then I'd keep Edward to myself :P**

**Wherever You Go**

**-**

**Prologue / Bella's first Note**

**-**

To whoever finds this 'message in a bottle' if you are going to read this; be warned: This is not a happy ending.

Waiting for something always makes it feel like it will never come but when you're not waiting it can pop out of nowhere.

Change hits you fast and when it does unexpected things happen, that change the course you had laid out for yourself forever. That's what it was like for me.

At the time I never saw what was coming, but looking back I wouldn't change a thing… Well some things I suppose I would, although it is too late now. I can only control what happens in my future, and the one thing I want control over is when I die.

I guess I should start from the beginning but before I do a little note for whoever reads this.

Not that anyone probably will seeing as I'm releasing the bottle this message is in off the southern coast of Australia it will probably end up buried in the ice somewhere in Antarctica, never to be found.

Anyway, even if this is never read, our story, _his_ story needs to be told before I go.

My name is Isabella Marie Swan; I was born in Forks, Washington in the USA. I'll tell you how I ended up in Australia as I continue my story but as of now, it is irrelevant.

I'm sure that if this _is_ found buried in the ice somewhere in Antarctica in ten thousand years from now you might want to know a little of what it was like in January 2010. Currently it is a warm day completely contradicting my mood, but then this isn't your average clichéd story, well not at 18 anyway. I'm sitting on a beach on the Yorke Peninsula, which I doubt will even be here anymore in ten thousand years because of global warming, even though that may make it hard for this message to be buried under thousands of layers of ice. I don't think there is much more I can tell you other than just telling you the original intent of this letter.

To be honest, it's basically a diary of my past year, with some editing done today so that you can hear my future thoughts on events that have happened, and even though I have cut out some days, every day of last year _something_ happened, yet here I sit exactly a year later from when I met _him_ at the end of my journey. The journey that changed the course of my life, leaving me with one message, the one _he_ left me: True Love Lasts.

**-**

**A/N: I'll try not to bore you with a/n's every chapter, but seeing as this is the first one then your going to have to put up with it. : P**

**Yeah, yeah I know the Aussie stories aren't as popular, but I promise this is going to be better than my other stories, I actually planned this one out! (OMG!! I KNOW!! Its AMAZING)**

**And I'm not going to give up on this one either. **

**The chapters will be longer than this as this was just a letter to whoever is reading the 'message in the bottle'… hmmm wonder who that will be??? Maybe you will find out, maybe you won't. : P**

**Just so you know, Edward **_**is**_** the **_**he **_**that Bella is talking about.**

**I'm going to try and be persistent with updates, but I cant promise anything because sometimes life gets in the way, and I'm trying to make these chapters longer than they are in my other stories.**

**I'm going to try get a couple of chapters ahead before I post the first chapter, but knowing me I'll get as impatient as you and post it as soon as I finish it.**

**Reviews would be great, but I won't nag. (Or I'll try not too)**

**xXx**

**Ally**


	2. The Beginning January

**Wherever You Go**

**-**

**Chapter 1- January**

_Thursday January 1 2009_

Actually getting on the plane and leaving was the hardest part of today. Mike held me close to his chest for what seemed like forever, not seeming to be able to let go of the little fantasy he had going on in his head that he seemed sure would happen this year. No matter how hard he tried I did not want to go out with him. He was a great friend and I wouldn't let a relationship get in the way of that. As soon as he finally let me go I was swept into a hug from Jake. It was distant and short, unsurprisingly but didn't hurt any less.

I knew he was cross about me leaving, but this was something I had wanted to do for years and he knew it. He would forgive me eventually; I would be back in exactly a year and had promised him that I would return to him. No one could replace him.

Emmett kissed my forehead, "call me when you get there squirt" he pulled me into a bone crunching hug briefly before setting my feet back on the ground. I loved my brothers and would miss them the most, even more than Jake. Jasper wrapped his arm around me briefly, never one for showing much emotion even though he was always so in-tune with every one else's.

Charlie finally wrapped his arm around my shoulder and lead me away from my group of friends, who were all waving at my retreating figure as Charlie lead me through the airport.

"You can come home anytime you like Bells" Charlie told me for the millionth time that week. I nodded in response, not wanting to say anything for fear of my voice cracking. He handed me my carry on bag and kissed me on the forehead.

"Have a good time Kiddo," he said as my flight was called. I pulled him into a hug before running off to show my ticket, not wanting to look back knowing if I did I wouldn't ever get on the plane. A lone tear trickled down my cheek, but the excitement bubbling up at the adventure ahead wiped away any sadness fairly quickly. The smile slowly grew on my face as the QANTAS Boeing 747 lifted weightlessly off the runway.

All my life I had wanted to go to Australia and my chance had come when the school offered an exchange program for the final year of my schooling. The only glitch in this was that Australian's start their school year in January so I had to leave now to get settled with my host family. Their sister, Rosalie was heading over to Forks when we began our school year and had 6 months off school until then. I was missing half of my junior year to do this, and had put in hours of extra study to pass the exams needed to do the exchange.

"Excuse me miss, would you like any refreshments" A flight attendant brought me out of my thoughts with a trolley loaded with food and drinks.

"Lemonade would be nice" she smiled and handed me one before walking on to the next aisle. I fiddled with the movies showing in the TV screen on the back of the seat and settled on watching _Australia_ to pump me up a bit for the year ahead.

I awoke hours later as the pilot announced our descent into Adelaide. I turned my watch forward only to find that I had very little time left of the day and waited for the plane to land as I gazed at the barren airport out my window. Even at night you could tell that it was just a pile of brown dirt with hunks of concrete slabs as airstrips. I laughed quietly to myself as the brown rushed past as the plane hit one of the airstrips in the middle of Adelaide. It was so different to what I was used to. The contrast in places since I had left Seattle to Adelaide was amazing, it was no longer wet, cold and green, but dry hot and dusty.

"Welcome to South Australia, The driest state in the driest inhabited continent of the world" The pilot said into the speaker.

_Friday, January 2 2009._

Getting through customs took about an hour. You'd think at one in the morning they wouldn't be so fussy, but it turns out Australia is _very_ fussy about customs. Not much was allowed through. When I finally made my way away from the grumpy clerk at the customs desk I looked around for my host family. They had sent me pictures so I picked them out instantly without needing them to have been holding the cardboard sign with my name written across it in an elegant script. I smiled and waved before making my way towards them. I hadn't moved far before they got to me, taking my bags from me and introducing themselves.

"Hi I'm Carlisle Cullen; this is my wife, Esme, and two girls Rosalie and Alice. My son Edward is staying with friends for a few days but should be home around the fourth so you will meet him then, He is Rosalie's twin. I nodded taking in the family, they were beautiful there was no denying it. Carlisle was tall and blonde, his brilliant sapphire eyes shone with pride as he introduced his beloved family, but even after knowing him for such little time I could see a hint of sadness when he mentioned Edward's name. I figured I would find out the reason in due course and didn't mention anything.

Alice bounced around me talking at a hundred miles an hour about what she was planning on us doing and what she was going to show me while I was here. Her black pixie cut was bouncing around as she did, messing up even more than it was originally and sticking out in all directions. I liked it. It suited her.

Esme smiled warmly and pulled me into a hug, instantly making me feel comfortable around her. Her smile was welcoming and calming and her honey coloured hair was highlighted in the lights, giving her a halo of sorts as she welcomed me to the family. Rosalie kept her distance but smiled at me all the same. I felt like ugly Betty standing next to her stereotypical beauty.

When we eventually made it to the car I realized how exhausted I was even after sleeping for so much time on the plane and fell into a light doze. I awoke again as Carlisle lifted me from the car some 3 hours later and carried me inside like I weighed nothing more than a feather. I was asleep again soon after that, waking late that day to find Alice bouncing around my bed.

"Where am I" I asked, slightly disoriented.

"We are at Edithburgh, we are staying here for most of January before school goes back, because we have a shack here." She chirped.

"But don't worry, we will go back to the farm before the end of the holidays so you can learn your way around before we are shipped off to boarding school" she winked.

I laughed at her easy manner, knowing that I would get along with her while I was here and crawled out of bed, stomach growling in search of food.

Alice and I spent the rest of the short day exploring the beach and the town. Rosalie was nowhere in sight for the whole day but as Alice informed me she was just off on one of her 'slut-scepedes' looking for some local talent at the suicide point, where she promised to take me too the next day to go body boarding.

"Suicide point, sounds promising" I groaned. I wasn't the most coordinated person on the block and I told Alice so, eliciting a laugh from her in return.

"You'll be fine! Its not as bad as it sounds!" she teased.

She took me to one of the local café's for the most divine strawberry milkshake I had ever had in my life and giggled relentlessly at my reaction to my first sip. I laughed at her teasing before stealing a sip of her chocolate one. She glared playfully at me over her glass before stealing some of mine, winking at me.

"So Alice, tell me, what is your brother like?" I instantly regretted asking the question as she visibly flinched away from it, but it was too late to take it back now.

"Well, he is a very quiet guy, keeps to himself. Gorgeous of course, he knows it, but doesn't play it up like most guys would. I love him to death Bella, I really do but I'm worried about him. I can't tell you what is wrong though, that is for him to talk to you about himself when he is ready. I know you two will be friends, I can see it, just be careful with him Bella."

Saturday, January 3 2009

I awoke to Alice's face hovering over me. Of course my natural reaction was to scream, which sent her into fits of laughter at me, promising to do it every morning until I stopped screaming. She dragged me out of bed throwing some breakfast in front of me. It was a piece of toast with brown stuff smeared across it. I eyed it hesitantly before picking it up and taking a bite. I made a face at the salty flavour and instantly spat it out. Alice laughed at me before shoving another piece of toast in front of me with nothing on it and put some spreads for me to choose from on the table.

"What the hell was that?"

"Vegemite, I love it!" She laughed cramming a piece of toast in her mouth with copious amounts of the disgusting salty stuff on it. I eyed her, raising my eyebrow while putting some honey on my toast.

"That stuff is gross!! How can you eat it?" I questioned, pointing my honey covered knife in her general direction. She only poked her tongue out at me and skipped off to the bathroom to brush her teeth. I rolled my eyes and continued to eat my breakfast and get ready for the day ahead. My phone started to vibrate in my pocket so I pulled it out and answered it with a mouthful of toast.

"BELLA! Why haven't you called yet?" Jake growled into the phone.

"Sorry Jake! I have just been so incredibly busy, you wouldn't believe how hyperactive my host sister is!" I laughed trying to calm him down a little, but having little success

"Bells, I was going crazy with worry! Don't do that to me again!" he sneered into the phone. I knew he was right, I should have called him so I apologized and talked to him briefly before the scary little pixie I had come to know and love as Alice threatened me with more vegemite if I didn't get off the phone. Jake had to laugh at Alice's persistence and reluctantly let me go with an "I love you" and a "Call you in a few days"

"Go and put your bathers on! We are going to suicide point!" Alice screamed in my ear, pointing to the bedroom I had been sleeping in with her and Rosalie for the past too nights. Rosalie emerged as I went to open the door and smiled at me.

"I'm coming with you guys today, Royce is going to be there" she informed us, already in her tiny bikini and multi-coloured short boardies.

An hour later we were driving down a neglected dirt road on the edge of a cliff, Alice insisting that we take the scenic route. Her speeding had me gripping the edge of my seat as we flew around the corner. Rose was in the back seat nodding her head along to the Jet CD that Alice had turned up as loud as it could go. She pulled up on the edge of one of the highest cliffs I had seen so far and started to clamber down the battered stairs that wound their way down the cliff face. Rose and I followed suit, after getting all of our towels and boards out of the back of the cute little BMW that Rosalie was so in love with. Alice had to beg to be allowed to drive it and even then had gone though a lecture about doing anything to hurt 'her baby' I knew she would get along with Emmett, they would hit it off right away. When we had finally made our way down the cliff and onto the beach Rosalie took off running towards where Alice was sitting down impatiently waiting for us. I didn't understand why she ran away from me until I put my foot on the incredibly hot sand and took off after her trying to keep my feet off the ground for as long as possible to avoid them getting burnt. I threw my towel on the ground as I reached the two sisters and sat down on it as fast as I could. Alice giggled at me before grabbing one of the boards out of my hands and running off into the surf yelling at me to follow. I threw off the cover up dress I was wearing and ran after her, screaming as I the cold water hit me. Alice laughed loudly and caught a wave into the shore before coming out to join me again. It was so hot that we stayed out there all day happily playing in the waves, while Rosalie tanned on the beach until Royce arrived before disappearing for an hour or two up the other end of the beach where no one could see them. Alice made a face as they disappeared behind the rocks cutting the last few meters of the beach from every one else.

Once they appeared Rose had decided that it was time to head back to the shack and dragged everything up the cliff face for us while we dragged along behind, looking for an excuse to stay just that little bit longer.

Rosalie drove back this time, and I was more terrified of her driving than I was Alice's. She sped along the dusty roads laughing at my terrified face when we got just that little bit too close to a cliff.

"Just wait till she gets into a car with Edward" Alice muttered, making Rosalie bark a laugh

"She'll die!" she winked at me and for the first time I felt comfortable around her.

"How can anyone's driving be scarier than driving with you two?" I asked skeptically. Rose shook her head at me and winked again.

"Keep your eyes on the road" I muttered grumpily, causing the girls to erupt into another fit of laughter.

"He's home tomorrow you know Rose!" Alice squealed from the back seat, excited by the idea of seeing her brother. It was my turn to shake my head at her.

"You know, if Em or Jazz disappeared for a few days I'd be thrilled" I stated. Alice and Rosalie only laughed at me.

"Edward is Alice's favorite play-thing, she loves to tease him because he reacts so well, trust me you will enjoy their banter." Rose said as she pulled in at the back of the little blue shack. I laughed at the idea of little Alice picking on her older brother. If he were anything like Emmett or even Jasper in size it would be quite entertaining.

We decided to have a movie night and hang out at the shack the next day. I wanted to do some exploring by myself and Alice had some errands to run for her parents. Rosalie was going to spend the day with Royce in one of the towns close by so I had the day to myself.

Sunday January 4 2009

I awoke late, still trying to get accustomed to the time zone I was in and decided to go for a walk before I ate breakfast. I headed up the beach to the point in the distance with my Ipod blaring in my ears. I wasn't paying attention to much of what was going on around me but I was in the zone by the time I reached the point and decided to keep walking and see what was around it. The beach stretched out for miles once I got around the tip of the point and I could see people dotted along the beach half way up. It was winder around there and there were wind surfers and kite boarders decorating the water with the colours on their kites and sails.

I kept walking till I got past all the people then found a spot to sit on the sand and stare out to sea without anyone blocking the pristine view in front of me, I turned my Ipod down to get the full effect.

I was amazed that there were no shacks on this side of the beach, but enjoyed the fact too as basked in pride at finding such a secluded spot to just sit and have some time to myself.

I enjoyed being by myself some times, it wasn't because I was anti social or that I was shy, I just needed some me time every now and then or I went insane. I wondered how I was going to cope boarding later this year.

"G'day!" someone said to me from behind. I jumped startled before turning around to see their face. The sun was directly behind their head, blocking any proper vision of their face until they moved to sit next to me. I shuffled away a little uncomfortable.

"Nice day for it" The velvety voice said in my ear. I looked up to see the most incredibly stunning face I had ever seen. Shocks of bronze coloured hair fell into the greenest eyes I had ever seen, his impossibly straight nose jutted out from his face which lead me to look at his full, soft looking lips, as I unconsciously licked mine. His chiseled jaw line stood out and made my heart jump a little.

He held out his hand

"Edward" I took it firmly in mine, trying to regain some composure.

"Bella, nice to meet you"

Looking back I don't know how I didn't register that I was Alice and Rosalie's brother Edward, but that slipped my mind in that moment. Maybe things would have worked out differently if I had known, but this was the day that changed the course I had planned out for the rest of the year.

"Nice to meet you too, you looked a little lonely sitting there so I thought I'd come and join you." He muttered the last bit turning slightly red.

"I don't usually do this kind of thing" he stuttered.

"Neither do I" I admitted.

"I was heading to meet my family and this girl we have staying with us, but I don't think I'm quite ready to enter the chaos just yet. My family is a little full on."

We talked for hours, nothing very personal, mainly about books and movies and anything general we could think of. I had lost track of time and didn't even notice that I was hungry until my stomach growled. Edward chuckled and pulled a sandwich out of the backpack he had rested against his leg and threw it at me.

"Here I don't really want it"

"I couldn't!" I protested, shoving it back at him. He raised his eyebrow at me.

"Please eat it! It's the least I could to for keeping you out here for so long while I procrastinate going back Bella"

I couldn't say no when he begged like that so I compromised and gave him half of it back. He winked at me and started to eat. We got up to walk farther up the beach together when he told me that he had something he wanted to show me. The people farther up the beach disappeared from view and he stopped suddenly, looking down at his shoes, blushing furiously.

"Bella, please don't take this the wrong way, but I wanted to try something." I looked up at him confused, but didn't have to wait long to find out what he was talking about when his lips pressed to mine furiously. I kissed him back just as hard, Jake was the farthest thing from my mind at this point. I hadn't told Edward anything about Jake and I wasn't planning on it, I'd probably never see him again anyway. We sank to our knees our lips still welded together as he started to soften the kiss he brought his hand up to caress my cheek. I licked my tongue across his soft bottom lip, begging for entrance, which he happily granted. When we finally broke away panting he stood up abruptly.

"Thanks, I needed to forget, you were perfect." He said before turning on his heel and walking away.

I sat, bewildered, not knowing what had happened. I huffed and stood, brushing the sand off and plugging my Ipod back in to storm back to the shack to tell Alice all about the dick I had met on the beach.

The whole way back I was coming up with scenarios as to what I'd say to the bastard if I ever saw him again. The ass had used me, Id bet that he does that all the time, turns on the charm and makes girls go weak at the knees only to leave them when he finds out that they are easy. Not that I was easy. He was just good at what he was doing.

I stormed into the shack, slamming the door behind me. Alice looked up at me, her eyes brimming with tears, which brought me out of my angry thoughts.

"He was supposed to be back 3 hours ago Bella" She sobbed.

"What if something has happened to him? He hasn't called or anything" The door slammed as she muttered the last word and she was out of my arms and jumping on her brother as he walked in the door, I stood by patiently waiting to get a look at him as Alice punched him yelling at him for making her so worried. When she finally got down from his arms, you couldn't tell that she had been crying from the beautiful smile on her face as she reached up to finally hug her brother.

That's when I saw the hair.

And I knew it was the boy from the beach.

Monday January 5 2009

I had cowardly run to my room when I had seen him and not come out until later that afternoon when he had gone to bed, claiming to be tired. He didn't see me at all. I had told Alice and Rose that I was jet lagged to be able to hide away for so long, but that wasn't going to work anymore. I had read most of the day, Wuthering Heights, the only book Edward and I had argued over for the three hours we had been talking. We had agreed on liking or disliking so many books over the long discussion that we had had.

I dragged myself out of bed, knowing that I was going to have to face him at some stage.

He was sitting at the table with his head bent over his paper as he read, allowing me to sneak past and into the kitchen busying myself with making breakfast. Alice awoke soon after and joined me in the kitchen quietly for the first time I'd known her.

"What was upsetting you yesterday Bella? I know you weren't jet lagged." She whispered. I sighed.

"Nothing Alice, just a bit homesick I suppose" I muttered back.

Edward coughed from his seat.

"Oh how rude of me! Edward, Bella, Bella, Edward" Alice introduced us completely oblivious to the fact that we had already met.

I glared at him when Alice wasn't looking and his eyes widened. He said an abrupt hello and all but ran out of the room. Alice looked at me in confusion and I shrugged my shoulders, feigning indifference.

I didn't see Edward until the end of the day when the rest of the family had gone shopping. I had opted to staying home and reading my book, really wanting to confront Edward without the rest of his family around. He appeared ten minutes after the cars had pulled away from the house. Sauntering into the main room of the shack, thinking no one was there. It was my turn to cough to get his attention. He spun around his expressive green eyes hidden behind a pair of silver aviator sunglasses. He pulled them from his face and placed them on his head, glaring at me.

"What you did to me yesterday wasn't very nice, _Edward_" I sneered his name

"Sorry, _Bella_, I needed to clear my head and you were the perfect distraction, unlike you having your perfect little life. I suppose I'm being a bit harsh, but you really didn't expect anything to come out of yesterday did you"

"What the hell? You can't just use people to 'clear' your head Edward it's not fair on them! What the hell did you need to clear your head about anyway?"

Edward sat down on one of the wooden chairs around the table running his hands through his hair.

"Nothing" he muttered shaking his head.

"Nothing is wrong." He said, more to himself than to me. He held his face in his hands his shoulders shaking slightly as he drew in a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry Bella, I shouldn't have treated you like I did" he got up and went to walk out of the door.

"Wait! Edward… I, I don't know what to say. Why wont you tell me what's wrong"

"Bella, I don't want to be treated any differently, so I'm not going to tell you what's wrong."

I raised my eyebrow at him, confused but he just walked out the door and down the beach.

"Weird" I muttered under my breath shaking my head and returning to my book, or at least trying too.

It wasn't long before everyone got back and Alice and I started preparing dinner.

Edward didn't come back until late. Very late. Carlisle and Esme weren't even worried about him. They were sure they he would return when he was ready. Even so, I decided to wait up for him and at 11. 30 he finally showed his face. I didn't let him know that I was watching him, pretending to be asleep on the couch as he reheated his dinner in the decrepit microwave. I could feel him watching me as I lay there with my book over my face but instead of making my blood boil like it would have recently it just made me feel safe and eventually I dozed off.

When I awoke the lights were out and I was being carried to my bed in Edwards strong arms. I was too groggy to complain as he placed me into my bed. I kept my eyes closed pretending to be asleep, but could feel his eyes on me again and then his lips on my forehead. My eyes snapped open at the unexpected contact and I found myself staring into his shocked eyes. He paused briefly before trying to stand up and hurry out of the room. I didn't let him.

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled his lips down to mine. He responded straight away, although tentatively brushing his lips carefully against mine. I growled at his lack of action and pulled him closer, forcing him to kiss me properly. When he finally started to relax I pushed him away and pointed at the door, hoping he would get my message.

Tuesday January 13

I had managed to avoid Edward for a full week. I was only ever in the room with him when there was someone else there. I know he was trying to talk to me but I refused to be alone with him until I could work out myself why I had kissed him. He had been behaving arrogantly for the entire week since the kiss, being rude to pretty much everyone and I knew it was my fault.

I hadn't been able to bring myself to call Jacob since the last time I spoke to him, even though he called constantly.

I looked up at Edward who was sitting across the table from me, glaring intently at the cereal box in front of him ignoring his phone as it danced on the table from the vibrating that had been going off for the past half hour.

"You gonna get that?" I asked, sick of the persistent caller interrupting the silence of the morning.

"Nope" he picked up his phone and threw it across the room. I watched it shatter the glass door as it went through it.

"I already know what its about" he said walking to the door and picking his phone up off the floor and walking it out, slamming it behind him as usual sending the remaining glass in the door frame crashing to the floor.

I stared after him in shock until I felt Alice put her finger under my jaw to close my mouth.

"Mum's not going to be happy!" she giggled skipping off in the direction of her mother's room dobbing him in straight away. Esme appeared and stared dejectedly at the door, sighing and trying to find something to use to cover the doorway.

"What was that about?" I asked Alice quietly once we had helped clean up the glass in silence.

"I wish I could tell you Bella, I really do. Its up too him though."

"What's with all the secrecy? He tells me that he wants to be friends after treating me like shit, but then wont tell me anything about himself, or what's wrong? I want to be friends, I want to help him, but I cant if he wont let me in!" I groaned at how clichéd that sounded even though it was all true.

Alice giggled, but then sighed.  
"Still, don't pressure him, he will tell you when he is ready too." She warned me.

"And trust me Bella, I know he will tell you. He can't keep it from you for much longer." She trailed off, muttering something under her breath that I was obviously not supposed to hear. I glared at her, stomping off to our room to get ready to pack for the next half of the month back at 'the farm' as the Cullen's referred to their real house as. We were leaving the next day and I was really excited, and looking forward to having my own room again.

Wednesday January 14

I looked over at Edward who was driving the car back to the farm. Somehow we had been stuck in a car together. With no one else. We had been here for five minutes and already I was uncomfortable. Edward kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye and because I couldn't seem to keep mine off of him I noticed his every surreptitious glance.

"Bella…" He whispered, his expression caught between pissed off and tortured, probably because I was _that_ scary to talk to.

"Yes?" I snapped, deciding if he was going to be rude I would be back even though it was childish.

He was quiet for a minute before he answered.

"Why did you kiss me?" his smooth brow furrowed as he waited impatiently for my answer. It was then that I realized how closely I watched him. Watched for his every movement to see how he reacted to what I said. I scoffed at myself before realizing that he would probably take it the wrong way. Not that I cared, I mean I do have Jake and still no one can replace him.

"You didn't like it either did you? Doesn't feel that great when you get used does it?" I growled. I knew I was really angry with myself but he did deserve the slap in the face.

He sighed and shook his head in annoyance.

"I suppose your right" he concentrated on the road, effectively ending the conversation. We drove in silence for a while before the annoying ringing of a text message appearing on my phone sliced through the tension that was slowly building up in the shiny silver Volvo. I peered at the screen of the phone to read the message from Jake.

**Having fun sweetie? I have decided to forgive you ;D the gang say hi and so does Charlie. Guess what? Jess and Mike are finally together! Miss you babe! Love you lots!**

I smiled, suddenly missing him and quickly typed out a reply.

_G'day! - ha ha had to pay it out! Of course I'm having fun! Glad you decided to forgive me! Say hi to everyone! Yay for Mike! Mayb he'll leave me alone now ;D miss you too hon. Xo Love you too as well. _

"Who are you messaging?" Edward pried.

"Jacob, my boyfriend" I said bluntly.

"What! Why didn't you bloody tell me you had a boyfriend?" Edward all but yelled.

"It was none of your business! Why would I tell you anything after the way you treated me?"

"You fucking kissed me before you had any idea what the hell the situation was! He obviously means a lot to you!" he growled before turning the radio up to childishly block out my retort.

Monday January 26

Australia Day

I awoke in my large bed at the Cullen's farm to the smell of a barbeque cooking outside. I rolled over and looked at the red numbers on the alarm clock and saw that I had slept until 12, unsurprisingly since I had been up packing to go to boarding school the next day and talking on the phone to Jacob until late, well it was early for him.

I sighed and pulled the alarm out of the wall to throw into my bag.

We were heading down to Adelaide that night with promises of seeing _Australia_ the new movie by Baz Luhrman. Alice had been excited about today for the past couple of days.

Australia day seemed to be an excuse for her to be 'a bogan' for the day as she decided to put it. I didn't really know what she meant until I walked outside and saw her in a pair of jeans (which was unusual for Alice) and a shirt like I often saw Carlisle wearing around the farm. Carlisle was a vet, but still ran his own farm. I don't know where he found the time but he still seemed to be successful at both. She wore a pair of flip flops on her feet, or as she called them, thongs and was really playing up the Australian accent and slang today in an attempt to teach me what it all meant.

"Mornin' shelia!" she droned as I made my way outside. I looked at her confused.

"Um, Alice, you know my name!" I accused.

"Of course I do! shelia is just another word for girl." I laughed and replied using another phrase she had taught me the night before.

"Fair Dinkum?" I asked. She laughed.

"you catch on fast mate" she winked skipping over to the CD player she had set up under the pergola and cranking Jet.

"Only fair Dinkum Aussie music today mate!" she laughed. I could tell t was unnatural for her to talk like that but Alice seemed to always get excited about things like this and I assumed it was natural for her to go over the top.

Rosalie appeared in the doorway laughing at Alice, holding a beer in her hand.

"Want one?" she asked, pulling one out of an esky sitting in the shade and throwing it to me before I could answer.

"Rosie! Its too early for that!" Alice complained catching the coopers pale ale swiftly before it even reached me. She returned it to the esky and pulled out the iced coffee she already had me addicted to playfully winking at me.

"Say it, or you don't get it!" she teased. I tried to mimic the broad Australian accent I had heard on the ad on television.

"It's a Farmers Union Iced Coffee, or its nothin'!"

"Dude! That was pathetic!" she laughed throwing me the milk carton all the same.

I poked my tongue out at her and flipped her off laughing.

That was when Edward appeared. Needless to say we hadn't spoken since the incident in the car on the way back to the farm. I can't say that I didn't care, because I did. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that it didn't matter I still felt drawn to him. Like I could help him some way, but I would never know how until he told me what was wrong.

"Enjoying Australia day Bella?" he asked conversationally. To say I was taken aback would have been an understatement. I gathered myself together before answering to make sure that I could do it without making a total fool of myself.

"Sure am!" I watched him closely to see how he would react to my answer. He was smiling slightly to himself and I couldn't help but smile back.

Tuesday January 27

We were at the boarding house before I realised that I wouldn't be seeing Edward again until the first exeat sometime in February. I would be going back to the farm once a month for holidays and exeat weekends when we had Saturday and Sunday free to go home. We had actually had a civilized conversation the day before, it may have been short but it was progress and I was determined to make things right between us.

His words in the car had struck a cord and I realised that although Edward seems to have been nothing but cold towards me since the first time we met, that the Edward I had met that day must be under the mask he carefully wore everyday somewhere. As corny as it was I had firmly decided to see the real Edward again.

The heat today was excruciating, Alice had told me that it was over 45 degrees Celsius, which when I converted it back to Fahrenheitso I could understand I found that it was 113 degrees, nothing like the weather in Forks. I didn't know how I was going to survive the first few days of school.

Edward and Alice were helping me unpack my room. The seniors had one to themselves for which I was grateful. We had a meeting to go to in about half an hour about year 12's and introducing me to the rest of my year. I cringed at the thought, knowing the humiliation it was going to cause. I knew I would go red and start stuttering if I had to talk in front of a group of people who I didn't know.

"Almost done." Edward informed me as he made my bed for me while I was putting my clothes away in my closet. I hadn't noticed Alice leave the room but as soon as I did I felt slightly uncomfortable, not knowing what to say to Edward.

"I'm going to hang around for a few days to make sure you're settled in before I go back to the farm." He informed me. Edward had finished school 2 years ago, or so I had only recently found out. He was doing university by correspondence so he could help Carlisle out on the farm, and earn some money.

He seemed to blush a bit, before looking away.

"I'll miss you Bella, even though you hate me."

"I don't hate you Edward, you just frustrate me sometimes." He winked at me.

"Takes one to know one." He laughed and walked out of my room and I stared after him in a huff again. He infuriated me to no end!

Friday January 31.

I stuffed my visual art diary under my arm, heading to my first design lesson with Alice. It was finally Friday afternoon. It had only been a three-day week but I was exhausted because of the heat.

The design teacher glowered over her glasses at us as we sat down at the table in the Arts centre, 5 minutes late to class because our maths teacher had held us up.

"Being late to class will not be tolerated as of next lesson. Either show up on time or don't show up at all." She derided. I recoiled in my seat, already knowing that this was one teacher I wasn't going to get along with. All my other teachers so far had seemed great, so I was bound to have one I didn't like.

"Now that every one has decided to appear, I will give you your first assignment for the term. I want you to design a house, using illustrator, back up in your visual diary is essential and I will be picking it up in week 10! Hop to it!" I stared after her in disbelief. That was the easiest freaking assignment she could have ever given me. Well it was design, I suppose I shouldn't expect anything else.

"You really want to make sure that you do heaps of back up, she is a freaking Nazi when it comes to your research and development of your ideas. Maybe get Edward to help you on the exeat if your struggling 'cause trust me she will drive you insane. I'm going to be getting Edward to do heaps for me, he is really good at this kind of thing!" Alice whispered in my ear as she dragged me towards the computers, and logging in for herself and then me on the computer next to hers. The last hour of the day seemed to drag on forever with Mrs. McLean running around every now and then and scaring the crap out of the girls using design as a bludge lesson and playing Tetris while she wasn't looking. Alice seemed really eager to get back to the boarding house after school too, like she had something planned, which wouldn't surprise me.

Once we were finally back in the year 12 common-room packing up our bags with the homework we had for the weekend I really knew something was up. Alice usually waited fairly patiently for me to pack up my bag but today she was nagging me and tugging on my school dress impatiently, trying to drag me out of the door.

"Come on!" she whined. I scowled at her but followed all the same. When we were nearing the boarding house she put her hands over my eyes.

"I have a surprise for you!" she sang. Trying unsuccessfully to pull her hands away I replied,

"Alice you know I hate surprises!"

"Sorry, not much you can do about it now" a deep voice sounded somewhere to my left.

I screamed.

**Phew *****wipes brow***** 16 pages on word, my longest chapter EVER! Please don't kill me if it's too long, just let me know if you want me to make them shorter. **

**Yeah, I know the first chapter is all over the place, there will start to be more sense in them from now on as January was just to set the scene. **

**Any who, hope you enjoyed I'll update ASAP, trust me nagging helps as long as you polite. **

**Jordi – lol if your reading this, that was so u, me and Hell in Art last year :P (except we read Fan fic too :P)**

**(Just so you all know, there will be a sequel to this, which I actually planned out first so please don't kill me at the end… EVERY THING I DO IS FOR A REASON :P)**

**XxX**

**Ally**


	3. February Part 1

**Wherever You Go**

-

Chapter 2- February part 1

A/N: ok, so I changed my planned story line a bit, lol sorry. Jordi, I'll still put you in it though! :P  
Its going get a bit darker from here on out, and I'm still considering making it slightly supernatural, but not sure yet. This chapter is still a bit lighter… but its building (if I stick too it :P)  
Major development between Bella and Edward this chapter.  
Hope you enjoy ;)  
BTW… sorry I'm Friends obsessed too :P  
Btw: Bella is more coordinated in this story, if you don't like it then don't read it  
Ally

Saturday February 1

Jaspers words from the day before still rung in my head as I sat up in bed, the annoying dinging of the bell ringing, alerting us that it was time to get up and head out to sports trials.  
Emmett and Jasper had decided that they needed to come and visit me, Alice having only found out through a text message from Esme who they had contacted to let me know they were coming.  
"Bells, Its dad." Of course something would go wrong as soon as I left. He is fine now, apparently but the bullet had only just missed his heart and he was lucky to be alive. What scared me even more was the fact that they had no idea where the bullet had come from let alone who shot it.  
I slowly crawled out of my bed to head to volleyball with Alice, pulling on the uncomfortable blue uniform and shoving my Ipod into my ears to block out the constant ringing of the bell, which, after a week was already the bane of my existence. I growled in the general direction the sound was coming from turning my Ipod up as loud as it would go to block the persistent noise out vowing that I would break it by the end of the term.  
I met up with Alice while I was trudging down the stairs to breakfast nodding in acknowledgement, too tired to say anything else. She threw an apple at me and led me out the door and down the road towards the volleyball nets. We still hadn't said a word, very unusual for Alice. She pulled out her phone and tapped out a quick text message, a smile playing lightly on her lips. I assumed she was messaging one of the boys about Jacob's arrival today. Emmett had let it slip that Jacob was coming to visit as well but couldn't get out until today. It was supposed to be a surprise but of course Emmett and his big gob had given it away. Not that I minded, I still hate surprises.  
Volleyball trials were interesting to say the least. One of the coaches, who apparently was one of the chemistry teachers at the school kept cracking lame jokes. At one stage there was a tree in the way and he kept saying that the tree was treemendously annoying.  
Alice and one of the girls on the team, Jordi started aiming their serves at his head to try and get him to shut up. He told them off for their giggling and carrying on but it only made them laugh harder and go out of their way to annoy him, trying to get me involved as well. I wasn't really too keen as I still didn't know any of the teachers yet but when he told me off for just standing with them, assuming I was involved I decided to join in. my serving was a bit off, but still enough to hit him a few times.  
Towards the end he started provoking us if we missed him, saying things like 'my grandma can serve better than that!' making it a huge game to hit him on the head. Of course the fact that he was getting angry with us every time we missed started to piss us off at him even more.  
We spent most of the session laughing and mucking around instead of taking it seriously like Miss Lantana kept trying to tell us to do. She was a grouch, not wanting to be at volleyball because she was more interested in the athletics team, but as head of PE had no choice but to be there.  
Emmett and Jasper turned up towards the end to give us a lift back to the boarding house and take us out for the weekend.  
We were staying at the apartment meant for Edward, who although was still there at the moment he would be leaving in a few days to head back to the farm to help Carlisle. Edward had finished school two years ago, but was doing university by correspondence so he could work on the farm with Carlisle during the day to earn money. He had stayed in Adelaide this week to help get me settled in.  
"So squirt, how was volleyball? I didn't think that you would have to required co-ordination to be able to play any sport." Emmett teased.  
"Being a boarder, its compulsory." I told him shortly, angry at his teasing. He only grinned in reply, angering me even more. I poked him in the ribs and stormed off up to my room. He knew not to tease when I was stressed, and with everything going on with Charlie it was obvious that I was stressed.

We arrived at Edward's before lunch to find that he wasn't there but at the airport to pick up Jacob, who I was still pretending that I didn't know about to keep Emmett out of trouble. One of Alice's friends from school, Pru had joined us for the day, as she just lived around the corner. Pru and I got along well but we hadn't really had a chance to get to know each other yet, so I didn't mind her crashing. She seemed to get along well with the boys, which was good I suppose. Emmett had been on his phone texting someone since we had left volleyball. I had no idea who, and to be honest I really didn't want to know after the way he was talking about hooking up with as many Australian chicks as possible while he was here. What a dick.  
We were sitting around the lounge room watching the TV waiting for Edward to appear watching some re-runs of Friends when he finally got back. With Jacob. Edward walked in first looking very pissed off, Jake followed, a huge grin plastered across his face as I leapt into his waiting arms, but I didn't miss the smug grin he sent in Edward's direction. I slapped him playfully and growled at him to behave in his ear.  
"Missed you too Bells!" he laughed. I poked him in the ribs making him bend over double and me crack up earning a glare. I helped him carry his bags in to the spare room he was going to share with Jasper for the next few days.  
When we walked back into the lounge room Emmett was imitating Chandler making us all laugh and Jordi, who had just appeared, was pretending to be Monica, with a really fake American accent. It was the one with Monica's thunder and they were up to the bit where Chandler couldn't… you know..  
"Now Monica, I know your upset, but don't forget: there is going to be a wedding, you are going to throw the bouquet, and then there is going to be a honeymoon, maybe in Paris" Emmett said along with Chandler on the TV. I wondered how many times he had seen this episode.  
"Paris?" Jordi squealed still trying to stick to her fake American accent, but struggling through her laughing.  
"We will take a moonlit walk along the Rue de La Blehblehblehbloo" Emmett continued, making us roll around on the floor laughing at his ability to do it with a straight face. Monica on the TV leapt and Chandler and kissed him and before we knew it Jordi had done the same, and Emmett didn't take long to react and kiss her back. We all cheered at their little performance but they didn't stop.  
"Get a room" Jasper teased. Emmett flipped him off and pulled a giggling Jordi out of the room and into the kitchen.  
"Will do brother!" he laughed waiting a few minutes and returning to talk to the rest of us with a very red faced Jordi.

We all went into the city later that day, Alice insisting that I needed some more summery clothes seeing as the heat wave was still sticking around. Jacob didn't have a problem with coming for a change not wanting to leave my side while he was here. He and Pru were getting along really well, for which I was happy. I could tell that although he liked Alice, he was worried about his gorgeous, single brother. Even though I knew that nothing would ever happen there again. I had already made the mistake of getting close to him and it didn't work out so well.  
The girls were pulling me into shop after shop, not giving me much of a chance to look around Rundle Mall. According to Alice it was the only place we could really go shopping with permission from the boarding house apart from across the road from the school, so after four years of spending every weekend there she knew her way around well. Really it was just like any other shopping mall apart from the big silver balls in the middle of the strip. Alice paused long enough to take a photo of me and the boys in front of them, before pulling me into David Jones for more clothes.  
She was refusing to let me pay for anything since she was the one forcing me to go shopping which she had already discovered that I hated.  
Jacob and the boys chipped in as well and Alice used Edward to carry all the bags. He made several trips back to his silver Volvo to load them in, telling us that we were going to all have to take the bus back to the house cause he couldn't fit anyone else in the car because of all the bags.  
I ended up going with him to help him carry all the bags back into the house because we would beat everyone back.  
I dreaded the 20 minutes I would be spending with Edward alone since we hadn't been alone for a while and I didn't know if he would be the happy carefree Edward that I sometimes see or the typical moody one.  
Moody one won.  
"I don't like Jacob, Bella" he told me as soon as we were alone, as if I couldn't tell from all the glares going on between the two all day.  
"Figures" I muttered under my breath, knowing he could heat.  
"He's flakey, you deserve better"  
"What the hell do you mean Edward? How the hell is he flakey." I growled.  
"Didn't you see the way he was looking at Pru?"  
"What? They were just talking! God Edward, they just met!"  
"Don't you pay attention at all Bella?" the first thing they said to each other was Oh my God I haven't seen you in years!" he mocked in a near perfect imitation of Pru.  
"Obviously I didn't hear that!" I thought back to when Jake arrived. I had been too busy trying to work out why Edward was glaring at him and laughing at Emmett.  
"It doesn't matter anyway. Jacob loves me. I have nothing to worry about"  
"What ever you reckon" Edward resumed his trademark glaring out the window technique to block me out again.  
"I'm Edward and I'm a moody bitch" I teased in a high-pitched mocking voice, pissed off at him. I watched his face in horror as I realised what I had just done but was relieved to see a smile twitching at the corner of his lips, his emerald eyes lighting to a lighter green as his mood seemed to shift slightly.  
"Sorry" he muttered after a while,  
"I was out of line. I just…" he trailed off.  
"Just what?"  
"Don't worry, I'm sorry ok and I really would like to start again. I know I have been a prick" I snorted in agreement.  
We pulled up at the house and started emptying the car. All the bags were sitting on the kitchen table. I had no idea that there were actually that many of them. Man that girl can shop. We started going through the bags sorting them into piles depending on whom the stuff belonged too. Mine was huge, of course.

Dinner that night Edward and Jacob sat on opposite ends of the table and glared. I decided to ignore them, they could sort it out themselves and I refused to have anything to do with whatever their problem was.  
"So Pru, how did you know Jacob?" I asked trying to ease the tension.  
"Our parents are old friends. Billy and my dad went to university together for bout a year until Billy decided that more school wasn't his thing." Pru laughed and winked at Jacob who was successfully distracted. He laughed at her and launched into conversation about some of their past encounters. I had only been with Jacob for about a year and didn't know him well before then so I wasn't surprised that I had missed Pru's visits to Forks.  
Edward was playing with his food, not eating and glaring at his plate. I nudged him with my elbow,  
"Edward, eat something you must be starved" I whispered so as to not draw attention to him.  
"I'm not really hungry" he muttered but spooned up a few peas on his fork and put them in his mouth.  
"Thanks" I muttered.  
"Why do you care Bella?" he asked, but it wasn't in a patronizing way, he sounded generally curious.  
"I don't know, you may have been treating me like shit, but I still like you. I don't want you to get sick." He snorted at my answer abruptly sending his next fork full of peas flying across the table and hitting Jacob in the face. It was funny until Jacob stood up and started hurling abuse across the table.  
"Real mature Edward. Just because you can't face the fact that you can't have my girl, you decide to fling peas across the table at me! Be a man! God!"  
"What the fuck? It was an accident, Bella made me laugh" I still couldn't work out what was so funny about what I had said but was on Edward's side of this argument.  
"Really Jake, he was only laughing, it wasn't intentional!" Jake glared at the both of us, but sat down and started talking to Pru again.

Later that night when we were getting ready for bed Jacob came up and apologized to me. I was sharing the bed with him instead of going back to the boarding house that night. I had no idea where everyone else was sleeping but figured that they could work that out themselves.  
We were lying in the tiny bed, me trying desperately to actually try and fit in next to Jacob's huge form.  
"I can't believe your friends with Pru! I haven't seen her for years" Jacob was saying, hardly even noticing my struggling to fit into the bed until I almost fell off. I glared at him and smacked his shoulder. He just grinned sheepishly and grabbed my hand placing a soft kiss in the centre of my palm.  
"I'm sorry babe, I came here to see you but have spent the whole day with Pru, and I just haven't seen her for so long. Not that I should be making excuses."  
"It's alright Jake, I'm happy if you are"  
"Thanks babe." He chuckled kissing me tenderly. I wound my hands up into his long hair and kissed him back harder. He chuckled at my reaction, his hand went from resting on my shoulder to trailing down my arm and around my waist, bringing me closer to him. Usually when he did this I would begin to loose my train of thought, but the only think I could think of, was how different this was to Edward. How when Edward kissed me I couldn't focus on anything but the fact that we were so close, and now with Jacob here all I could think of was Edward. I was more aware of Edward than was healthy really. I thought that he might fade into the background after a while, but still I was aware of everything he did and every reaction to anything I said to him. Even in our brief conversations I was well aware of him, his posture, his expressions and even more aware of his eyes. His eyes were the thing that gave him away.  
Jacob pulled away and cupped my cheek in his giant warm hand to stare into my eyes desperately. Like he was searching for something. I don't know what he was looking for but when he frowned and looked away I knew that he hadn't found it.  
"Bella" he sighed.  
"Yeah?"  
"Charlie was upset that he couldn't come visit you too. I know you hate it when he says tings like this but he wanted me to look after you while I was here, he knows how you panic."  
I knew what he was doing instantly. It wasn't the first time he had emotionally blackmailed me, he didn't even realize he was doing it half the time.  
Last time he had stuffed up, which rarely ever happened, he had carried on for ages about how he couldn't live without me. At the time I thought it was flattering but now something had changed. All I could think was that it was pretty pathetic really. I wasn't that dependant on him. I knew that he was holding me back. But I also knew that Jacob was safe. I really did love him and wasn't going to leave him. But that didn't mean I wasn't going to call him on his shit this time.  
"I know what your doing Jake." He tried to act innocent.  
"Don't pull that Charlie line on me. I know he didn't say it and you know I know. You also should know that I'm with you and you really have no reason to feel threatened by anything or anyone." He buried his face in my shoulder and chuckled sheepishly  
"Sorry Bella"

Saturday February 14

The bell woke me from my peaceful slumber again making me glare at the door, again, as the boarding house mistress walked past still ringing the damn thing.  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah I get it! I'm up! I'm up!" I growled under my breath.  
We had our first volleyball game this weekend, the weather had finally cooled down and the boys were all coming to watch before they left to go back home. Jordi picked Alice and I up to take us to the nets at the school we were playing against. The drive there was enough to wake me up, music blaring, windows down let alone Jordi's insane driving had us all in fits of laughter. Especially the speed bumps (A/N: lol sorry JB (bahaha) just had to put it in :P, thanks for the lift btw :P) she would speed up to them and then slow down at the last second… well sometimes she would slow down. I think we got air at one point.  
We arrived late, not late enough to miss the start of the game but late enough to get yelled at by the coach, whose name I still didn't know. The boys were already there, Edward included. He had become really close to Emmett and Jasper in the past two weeks, which surprised me, usually he seemed so closed off. Maybe that was just towards me.  
I managed to only hit two people on my team during the game, one was Alice, who turned it into a head butt and won the point at the other being one of the girls I didn't know who turned and glared playfully at me. We were playing indoors which was better than the afternoon outdoor trainings I was used too with the sun in the way. My serving was a little off, but at least I was getting it over the net this time, unlike Alice's who surprisingly from her petite frame was having the opposite of my problems and getting them too far.  
The game went past fairly quickly and unsurprisingly we lost.

Before I knew it, it was time for the boys to leave for home. We drove them to the airport. Emmett and Jasper tried to keep the mood light, knowing that I was upset about them leaving. Even Alice was, I think she had become attached to Jasper in the past few weeks. Jacob was surprisingly distant when he said goodbye, too busy concentrating on something else. I was a bit put off by his behavior and didn't really know what to do about it. I was so upset at the fact that he was leaving that it hurt that he was behaving like this. I had been fine before he came, so why did things have to get like this now?  
He spent more time saying goodbye to Pru than he did to me. I was a little jealous, I mean I know that they were friends before but I was his girlfriend after all.  
"I'll miss you Bells" he said quietly as he kissed my cheek before walking off to shake Edwards hand.  
They seemed to have gotten over their little problem that they had had with each other at the start of the boys stay. I think living together for two weeks may have taught them to act a little more civilized towards each other.  
Jacob waved at me before walking away after my brothers had hugged me goodbye. I felt a traitor tear slide down my cheek as I realized that that was the best goodbye I was going to get.  
When he was out of sight Edward and Alice put their arms around me and lead me away even though Alice was looking just as put out as I was.  
When we were in the car Alice decided that it was time for her to spill her guts about my brother.  
"Bella, please don't hate me, but I really like Jasper and I think he likes me too. I promise I wont do anything about it if you feel uncomfortable with it" she was going to say more but I cut her off.  
"Go for it Alice" I laughed through my tears that were rolling down my face uncontrollably now. She threw her arms around me from the seat behind me.  
"Thanks Bella!" she said kissing me on the cheek before settling back in the seat and pulling out her phone. Probably to message Jasper even though he would be in the air by now.  
"Edward can you drop me off at Jordi's we have an assignment we need to work on" Alice's head appeared between the front seats where Edward and I were sitting.  
"Pru is meeting us there. You don't mind do you Bella? I'll be back at around nine tonight but it means that you can finally have a chance at getting to know my brother dearest!" she giggled. If only she knew.  
"I don't mind Ali, why would I want to do work that I had already finished?" I teased. "Besides, I need to start my design assignment anyway."  
"Oh yeah, you were going to ask for Edward's help on that weren't you." Great. Now I had no choice but to ask him.  
"Um, yeah I was. If that's ok?" I tacked on the end, looking at Edward now to make sure that he wasn't going to go all randomly angry with me again. He just nodded in response before pulling up at Jordi's house.  
"See ya later!!" Alice yelled jumping out of the car and running away before we had a chance to reply.  
"So what's your assignment?" Edward asked.  
"We have to design a house, but it has to be hand drawn and I'm hopeless with that kind of stuff. I can do it on the computer but not by hand." I groaned  
"Perfect." Edward laughed. "That's my specialty" he winked and smiled at me, something I was so unaccustomed to that I just sat there and stared at him, completely shocked.  
"What?" he asked looking a little self-conscious.  
"Nothing" I muttered still unable to draw my eyes away. He reached out and cupped my cheek in his hand staring back with the same intensity now and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. Making me aware of the tears only brought back the memories of Jacob's goodbye, which made my start crying all over again. Edward pulled me into a hug his warm hand rubbing up and down my back.  
"Lets get back to the house so we can get to work on cheering you up shall we? We can design your future house!" he said in a very fake cheerful voice.

Back at the house he stated to show that man I met on the beach the first time we met. Before he turned into a prick. I found myself laughing at him as he drew up drafts of a house for me.  
"So the master bedroom will have a giant ensuite and an even bigger walk in wardrobe just to make Alice jealous!" he laughed.  
"And a big spa in the bathroom with a TV on the wall so you can watch it while you lay in the tub!" I sighed at this idea.  
"Ohh!! and add in those little wine glass holders on the sides of the spa so I can sit there with a glass of champagne and indulge myself" I giggled.  
"Would you like a fridge for some chocolate as well?" he teased. I just laughed.  
"Now come on that's just over the top!" I laughed.  
"ok, ok! No going over the top. Does that mean we have to get rid of that massive old-fashioned entrance way? The one like old mansions have, with the staircase being the first thing you see when you walk in the doors" he mimicked my voice, sounding nothing like me. I scoffed.  
"No, but like the heated, indoor pool when the house is obviously going to be on the top of a cliff somewhere, but where you're close enough to walk down to a secluded beach, as you decided!" This comment had him laughing.  
"Don't forget that it's an indoor pool with a view off the cliff through the massive windows!"  
"and the master bedroom is right above it with the view in the bathroom as well, when your not facing the other way to watch the TV of course." He smirked at me and went back to finishing his amazing sketch of the front of the house that we had just described.  
We lulled into a peaceful silence for a while as he drew. I laughed when he actually did make the walk in wardrobe bigger than the already massive bathroom.  
"Alice is going to have to take me shopping!" I giggled when he finished. He laughed at my comment.  
"Not if I don't take you first." I poked my tongue out at him childishly and he grabbed it between his fingers before I had the chance to pull it back.  
"You'd better watch where you put that thing" he laughed before letting it go and walking out the door. I stood there for a second, stunned before I heard him call out at me.  
"You coming Bella? It's already two, you must be starving"  
"Oh!" I jumped up off the seat and grabbed my purse following him outside.  
We walked down the road in silence towards the chicken and chips shop about ten minutes walk away. Edward ordered for both of us and refused to let me pay anything. I was thankful that he didn't spend much on our lunch. We stopped in a park on the way back to eat, sitting down on the grass under a tree as Edward spread the food out in front of us. I leaned up against the tree, careful not to squash the flowers that were managing to hang on in the heat. It was still boiling hot, but I had started to get used to it again. Like I had for the brief visits to my mother's back in Phoenix.  
"So Bella, I really hate to bring this up, but have you thought about what I was saying to you the other day about Jake?" Edward said looking at his feet, clearly wishing that he hadn't even brought it up.  
"A little." I confessed  
"Bella, I know it's none of my business, but I saw what he did at the airport earlier. If you were my girlfriend I would have spent the whole time saying goodbye to you and not just a kiss on the cheek and then walk off."  
The memory and the fact that it hadn't gone unnoticed started the crying again.  
"Oh God, I'm so sorry Bella! I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm sorry!" Edward said, pulling me back into his arms and rocking me as I cried it out.  
"It's ok Edward. I knew that Jake and I weren't meant to last. I just didn't think that it was him that would leave me. I don't know if I'm ready to let him go. He is all that I know!" I realised how bitchy that sounded but didn't really care.  
"Shh, don't worry. I know what you mean. I went through the same sort of thing a while ago. But then once I told her…" he trailed off.  
"Told her what?" I prodded.  
"Bella, I'm not sure I'm ready for you to know. I really like you and don't want to lose you so soon." He looked down again, refusing to look me in the eye. I finally realised that there really was something up with Edward.  
He shook his head, bringing himself out of his thoughts.  
"Please Bella, I will tell you later, but know today. I'm having fun today and I have to leave on Monday morning to go home. Can't I just enjoy today with you and then I'll tell you everything tomorrow?"  
I nodded in agreement.  
"Thank you." He sighed as he picked a flower out of the ground. He was about to hand it too me but instead got a devilish grin on his face and reached out to grab my shoe. Weaving the flower and more through the holes in my sandals, presenting it to me when he was done, then going onto the other.  
"You like to be different don't you?" I laughed  
"Sure do, life's not exciting if you're a sheep" he knelt in front of me putting my flowery shoes on for me and pulling me to my feet.  
"Don't squish the flowers" he teased before pulling me across the park by my hand.  
"Edward! Where are we going?" he winked at me and kept tugging me away from our tree.  
We walked into the building on the other side of the park and it was only then that I realised that it was a shopping centre. He kept pulling me along until we reached a photo booth.  
"I know this is really cliché, but I have always wanted to do this!" he laughed pulling me in and sitting me on his lap before he put the money in. I laughed and posed as the first flash went off.  
"Bella" he said just before the second one went off, making me turn my head to look at him. He was staring at me intensely.  
"I'm going to do something really clichéd now" he muttered, before pulling my face down to his, his lips pressing softly against mine. I was too shocked at first to close my eyes and he was staring back at me trying to gauge my reaction. I always thought kissing with your eyes open would be really awkward, but it seemed that with Edward, it really wasn't. When he was satisfied that I wasn't going to run away or slap him his eyes fluttered shut and he pulled me closer, pressing his lips even harder against mine and bringing his hand up to cup my cheek at the same time mine started to weave through his hair, the flashes of the photo booth going off all the while.  
"I think we are going to have to get more photos" He muttered when we finally pulled apart, his forehead resting against mine. I nodded in agreement, giving him an Eskimo kiss in the process. He laughed and kissed my nose. He reached into his pocket to get some more change, but I beat him too it this time. He sighed and grabbed the first lot of photos out of the hole in the wall, shoving them in his pocket and then posed with me for the next lot, making stupid faces at the camera with me.

Back at the house later, things had started to get a little awkward from the aftermath of the photo booth incident. We were sitting on the couch watching Hancock that Edward had gone and bought while we were still in the shopping centre. At the moment we were acting like nothing had happened. Sitting on the futon laughing as Hancock speared the front of a car on a building. Edward thought it was hilarious and was rolling around on the couch when the photos fell out of his pocket.  
"Oops" Edward said, picking them up off the floor and finally looking at them. I hadn't seen them before, and was blown away when I did. The first photo was of me smiling at the camera and Edward smiling up at me, the next was of us looking at each other. This photo made me gasp. I had tried to get a photo like that with Jacob once, but it didn't have the same effect that this one did. I saw something in this photo that wasn't in any of Jacob and myself, yet u had no idea what it was. The tiny black and white photo had made up my mind about something that would have taken a lot longer if I hadn't seen it.  
I was in love with Edward Cullen.  
And he was just confused about how he felt about me.  
He rubbed his finger over the photo, before ripping it off from the rest.  
"I'm keeping that one" he informed me the rest of the photos were of us kissing and I had to admit, they were hot. He pulled out the second lot of photos from his pocket and laughed at some of the faces we had made. I didn't get to see the last one before he ripped it off and put it in his pocket as well.  
"Hey! Let me see it! Please?" I begged trying to reach into his breast pocket to get it from him unsuccessfully.  
"No, you will see it when the time is right" he stated, a wicked smile on his face. I would have tried wrestling him for it but I knew that it would be no use and I would just have to wait.  
"Don't think that I'm going to forget young man!" I teased.

Later that night when Alice was home I got a phone call from the boys to say that they had landed.  
"Bella!" Jasper and Emmett yelled into the phone. I pulled it away from me ear a bit to protect my eardrums.  
"Hey! I take it you landed safely"  
"Yeah we are fine. Jake has gone back to the rez he said he would message you after he had caught up with Billy."  
"Sure, sure, you guys must be tired, go rest." I told them knowing that it was about three in the morning in Forks.  
"Yeah, yeah. We will call you tomorrow. Night Bells!" Emmett said, hanging up before I had the chance to say goodbye. As soon as he hung up I got a message from Jake.****

To: Bella  
From: Jake  
Hey, Bells. I know I should have done this earlier today, but we really need to talk.

I knew exactly what he was going to do as soon as I read the message and wanted to behave childishly and ignore the message, but decided not to put off the inevitable.  
**  
To: Jake  
From: Bella  
I know. Do you want me to call?  
**  
I sent back, excusing myself from the room where Alice and Edward were watching TV, tears already streaming down my face. Wiped them away. I had already cried enough over this, I had known for the duration of Jake's stay that it was coming. Alice got up and followed me out of the room seeing my tears and Edward followed soon after.  
"Bella, what's wrong?" Alice said softly putting her arm around me as we settled down on my bed.  
I showed her the latest message****

To: Bella  
From: Jake  
I don't think that's a good idea Bella.  
You know what this is about and, while I'm sorry that it had to end like this we both know it's right.  
Pru and I have something and I'm pretty sure that you have something going on with Edward even though you wont admit it to me. It's ok to now Bella.

Alice and I both scowled at the message, cross at Jacob's immature behavior. He hadn't let up the fact that he thought I was cheating on him with Edward the entire time he had stayed here. Edward and I had barely talked the whole time. I hadn't had a proper discussion with him until today after the first time we had met and Jake wasn't even here for that.  
Alice was typing out a reply to Jacob letting me read over her shoulder.****

To: Jake  
From: Bella  
Alrighty, here's the deal.  
There is nothing going on between Edward and I atm and I refuse to let you go around telling people that that is the case. I understand that we are breaking up but I won't be so understanding if you go around spreading rumors about me that so obviously aren't true.  
Em and Jazz wont like it either.  
Don't reply

She looked up at me, an eyebrow raised as to whether it was ok for her to send this and I nodded at her. As much as I knew that Edward was the reason that I had fallen out of love with Jacob, I didn't want any horrible rumors going around Forks that would get blown out of proportion like the always do in small communities. When I got back everyone would think that I had a kid knowing Forks. I told Alice this and she laughed.  
"Its funny how in small towns, everyone knows everything about your personal life before you even do" she laughed knowingly.  
Edward was sitting on the end of my bed, staring off into space, obviously lost in thought.  
"Are you ok Bella?" Alice asked me rubbing my back again.  
Only then did it hit me that Jake had broken up with me by text message on Valentines Day.  
What a cop out!  
That was when I broke down.  
Alice and Edward slept in my room that night on either side of me, holding me when as I cried. Surprisingly I had never felt more loved than I did that night.  
It was around eleven when Alice had drifted off to sleep Edward and I were talking quietly when I realised that his ever-expressive eyes looked like they were in agony.  
"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked, cupping his cheek in my hand.  
"I know you don't want to hear this right now Bella, but I was right about that prick. He used you and I'm so sorry that you had to be put through that." He said pinching his nose and rolling onto his back.  
"Edward I'm not cross at you and it's not your fault!" I whisper-yelled, pulling his body back towards mine into a hug, not knowing what else to do to soothe him.  
"I'm sorry Bella. I just don't like to see you get hurt. After I promised myself I would stop being such a prick to you I haven't been able to handle watching anyone else upset you, and for that, I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair.  
I pulled his face back towards mine and pressed my lips cautiously against his. He kissed me back, responding straight away.  
I pulled away quickly realising what I was doing.  
"Edward, I don't want you to be a rebound." I whispered against his lips before kissing them lightly and pulling away farther.  
"You mean too much already. No more until I'm completely over Jacob okay?"  
He just nodded, closing his eyes so I couldn't really gauge his response and rolled me over, snuggling up to me and pretending to be asleep.  
I didn't know how to react to that so I just laid there trying unsuccessfully to finally manage to sleep.

Friday February 20

"We are going home this weekend!" Alice squealed in my ear as she jumped up and down next to my locker, waiting for me to put my books away. I had to say that I was excited about going back to the Cullen's for the weekend. I hadn't seen Edward since he had left for home on Sunday and the distance seemed strange after seeing him every day for the first few weeks here as he liked to visit all the time and take Alice and I out for dinner. The food here was shocking so I was looking forward to a real meal once we got home. I missed Esme's cooking and I missed cooking for myself.  
Carlisle was picking us up after school, having had a meeting in town today. I was grateful not really wanting a two hour-long bus ride.  
"I know Ali! Aren't you excited! I feel like I haven't seen Edward, Rose and your parents in ages!" too bad Rose didn't get to meet Emmett; I think she would have loved him. Even though Jordi wouldn't like it." I winked at Jordi who was standing next to Alice.  
"Oh don't worry about me. Rose and Em would be perfect for each other. I've found myself another hottie!" Jordi laughed and ran away before we got a chance to question her.  
Alice and I laughed at her as we grabbed our bags to start heading home.  
When we got out of the school Carlisle was waiting for us, already having signed us out of the boarding house for the weekend.  
"Ready to go home girls?" he asked.  
"Sure am dad!" Alice laughed hugging him.  
"Can I drive? Pleeeeeeease dad?" she begged. I knew how she loved driving and that she was going insane not being allowed to drive Edwards car or have one at the school.  
Carlisle laughed and threw the keys at her.  
"I have to work anyway." He said, climbing into the back seat.  
Alice cranked the radio and we were on our way back to the farm. To Edward.

We got back around six, Esme already had dinner on the table and I jumped at the sight of actual food. Edward laughed at me digging in to my food as he walked into the dining room. He hadn't really spoken to me much last Sunday, but it seemed that all the tension between us had gone again.  
"Enjoying having something half decent to eat again I see Bella?" Rosalie asked, poking her head around the corner. I jumped up and hugged her before heading back to my food. She laughed and sat down to eat hers.  
"Enjoying the time off?" I asked between mouthfuls.  
"Sure am! Been planning things with turd burger over there." She said jerking her thumb in Edward's general direction. Edward playfully flipped her off.  
"Oh yeah, what kind of things?"  
"Nothing you need to know about at the moment" she replied sneaking a glance at Edward, thinking that I didn't catch it.  
I decided that I didn't want to know.  
"Bella! I have something to show you! Come for a drive with me once you have finished stuffing your face?" Edward leant over the table towards me, unleashing the full power of his devastating eyes.  
"S…sure" I stammered, mentally kicking myself for my lack of vocabulary when he did that to me. Man did that boy have massive mood swings.

When I had eaten so much that I couldn't even look at food again Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me out to his car.  
"Where are we going?" I asked having recovered the required motor skills to use my jaw again after he had turned it to mush earlier.  
"Surprise!" he laughed and turned up the volume on his radio. What was with this family and loud music?  
He drove me into town then took a right on the coast road.  
"Bella, there is something that I haven't told you yet. It's not the thing that you want just yet, but something else. I own a block of land along here. I don't tell many people this 'cause they already think I'm a snob, but I worked hard for this land, and let Carlisle farm it." He pulled off the road into a dry looking paddock, following a warn dirt track towards the cliff face. He pulled up at on top of the cliff just before the road turned off down a gully leading to a beautiful beach I could see in the diminishing light.  
"What do you think?" He asked as we clambered out of the Volvo. He stood behind me and put his arms around my waist.  
"It's gorgeous!" I whispered, not being able to concentrate much as his chin nestled in the crook of my neck.  
"Glad you like it" he said, suddenly pulling away. He snatched my hand and nearly pulled my arm out of its socket as he yanked me down the path towards the beach.  
Once we reached the beach he resumed the position we had before, the water lapping at out feet as he turned us to face towards the cliff.  
"Can you picture it Bella? Look up there, can you see the front of your house?" I gasped in surprise at why he had brought me here.  
"Oh gosh! Edward! Its perfect!" I gushed. Did I just say gosh? Something is seriously wrong with me.  
Edward chuckled "Well that's good to know. I was picturing it here the whole time we were drawing it. I have decided the pool can be out-door though, one of those really cool ones that seem to fall off the edge of the cliff." He said, grabbing my hand and using my finger to paint it in the sky in front of us.  
"Can you see it?" he whispered in my ear.  
"Yep"  
we fell into silence as he continued to draw the imaginary house with my finger. When he finally freed my hand he went to sit in the reddish coloured sand from the red of the cliffs.  
"Do you know what Ardrossan means Bella?" he asked.  
I had wondered what the name of the small coastal town had meant, it not being something I had ever heard before.  
"No, what does it mean?"  
"I have, no idea I was asking if you knew" he teased. I scoffed and went to sit next to him.  
"Bella, I have something else to tell you." Hw whispered, unable to hide the pain in his eyes this time.  
"You don't have too if your not ready Edward" I told him. He shook his head and stared out to sea, deciding whether to tell me or not yet.  
"I have a girlfriend"****

Ha, ha. I'm sorry that was a little evil wasn't it?  
I'll try and post soon, hopefully if I keep to my posting schedule you will get an update by Friday next week.  
Anyway, love to hear from you, I know I said I wouldn't nag, but I'm a review whore.  
Possible sneak peek for everyone that reviews.  
Xx  
Ally  



	4. Feb pt 2 and March

**Wherever You Go**

**-**

**Chapter 3- February part 2 and March**

**-**

**Sorry it took so long, my laptop literally wouldn't start and I had to start the chapter again on my new one. :( and I wasn't going to do a half arsed effort because I had to type it again. So it took a while cause I had to make sure it was up to par. That and school can be so stressful! Shout out to Kaptooya… my excuse for procrastination :P (totally worth it, even when I almost fail a test… shhhh *****shifty eyes*****)**

**It's a shorter one this time, but I was sick of making you wait, and I'm just so busy.**

**Plus that and I'm scheming to go to live at the zoo :P… just need to convince the olds. :P**

**-**

**Last Time**

"_Bella, I have something else to tell you." He whispered, unable to hide the pain in his eyes this time._

"_You don't have too if your not ready Edward" I told him. He shook his head and stared out to sea, deciding whether to tell me or not yet._

"_I have a girlfriend"_

**-**

Friday February 20

Pulling out of his embrace proved difficult as I struggled to find the words to answer the shattering news he had just whispered into my hair. He had treated me like a princess since we had left the house and it seemed it was only to break my heart when I was already trying to recover from another heartbreak. As much as I had tried to fight the truth, I knew I still loved Jake, as much of a prick as he was. I couldn't look at Pru at the moment and she seemed to have no idea what I was angry about, even though I could see her texting him under her desk at school. I had contemplated calling her on it, but decided that it wasn't her fault, I was just looking for someone to blame other than myself, such is human nature.

I turned in Edward's arms, sighing, resigning myself to the fact that I was going to get hurt, and not caring. At the moment he was still nothing but a rebound, and a forbidden fling I had had over the past two months, but it was about to come to an end. I looked up at his face to see that his beautiful green eyes were hidden behind a shock of bronze hair. His eyes may have been covered, but the tear sliding down his cheek gave him away. I waited for him to talk again, running my hand through his hair, but letting the fringe he was using to try and hide from me remain over those ever-expressive eyes.

"Well I suppose the correct term would be had a girlfriend." He muttered after a while. I lifted an eyebrow questioningly as he finally caught my eye. The tears had cleared his eyes a little and the green had slightly changed to a bluey colour, yet another thing to add to the list of intriguing things about Edward Cullen.

"She died." he whispered not bothering to hide the tears that flowed silently from his eyes this time. I didn't say a word, but pulled him into my arms and held on for dear life.

"I'm telling you this for a reason Bella, I know we have been getting more involved with each other than we ever should have recently, I'm drawn to you Bella. I have tried keeping away but I'm not strong enough, I need you to keep me away. I cant have you going through the pain I am now, because I know it will be worse, because I know if I let myself fall, I will never fall again and I can't help but selfishly pray that you will too. That's why I'm warning you Bella, don't let me in, don't ever let me in. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Edward, I can't decide if I want to or not until I have the full story"

he just shook his head and pushed me away, walking back up towards his Volvo on top of the cliff face.

When I reached him, out of breath from the climb up he was staring off out to sea, a troubled look upon his beautiful features. I sighed dejectedly and clambered into the front seat of the car and turned the music up just how I knew he liked it.

We spent the car ride back singing along to the music, pretending that nothing had happened between us, knowing that as soon as we exited the car, we wouldn't talk again like we had been recently.

Even though Edward was the one who had told me to keep away, I knew it would be him that in forced what he had decided and sure enough nothing else was said between us as soon as we pulled up at the house, the music suddenly becoming a wall between us instead of something joining us together.

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February 26, 2009

_Dear Bella, _

_I know that our exchange on the cliffs has hurt you, and I know I was being a prick. I want to apologize for my behaviour, although everything I said still stands true. _

_I do hope that we can be friends; even if this is the only way we ever have a meaningful conversation. Maybe one day I will tell you the whole story, but you have to understand that I'm not ready to share everything with you just yet. I think that if I write it down it may be easier to talk to you without breaking down with worry about hurting you._

_I don't think you understand how much you have come to mean to me in such a short time and such little exchange between us that actually made sense. _

_That day on the beach Bella, I know I hurt you and I apologize from the bottom of my heart for that. But Bella, you must understand that that day, that day was one of the most uplifting days of my life. A chance to be normal, a chance to have someone who knows nothing of my past, nothing of my future to spend time with, to talk to. This is why I haven't told you any more of my life. I had hoped to store you in my memory to look back on when times were bad, but then you turned up at the shack with my family and I pushed you away. I didn't want you ever to know anything else about me than the discussion we had had that day. I figured if I avoided you I could keep the memory safe, keep my newfound sanctuary from the world safe. _

_But you were there, you didn't leave, and I fell. And I fell hard. I know I shouldn't be sending you this, but every other time I have tried talking to you I have chickened out. I have even chickened out from posting this. I'm going to leave it somewhere for you to find, because if you don't it wont matter, at least I would have tried. _

_Tanya had cancer Bella, and she meant so much to me. But she holds nothing compared to you in my heart. _

_Part of me hopes that you never find this, and then the selfish part of me does, the selfish part of me hopes that you will forgive me. _

_I'm going to shut up now. _

_Look after my heart, I left it with you. That night on the cliff top. _

_Edward._

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March 4 2009

_Dear Edward._

_I'm confused, but I think you know why. _

_I forgive you for what happened on the cliff._

_And I feel the same way about you. _

_Bella._

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March 19 2009

**-Ugly duckling has logged on-**

**EC- **Hey Bella

**Ugly duckling- **Edward, hey!

**EC- **I see you found my letter.

**Ugly duckling- **geez straight to the point! :P

**EC- **that's me. :P

**Ugly duckling- **so….

**EC- **so… what's with the Ugly Duckling?

**Ugly duckling- **it's a play on my last name, that and doesn't the ugly duckling turn out to be a beautiful swan?

**EC- **You already are the beautiful swan.

**Ugly duckling- **id shut up quick if I were you or I'll fall harder.

**EC- **sorry

**Ugly duckling- **no probs. ;-)

Are you still sticking to the whole cant be together thing? Cause it's too late for me to change my mind anyway.

**EC- **I wish you wouldn't say that Bella, it makes it so much harder.

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Saturday March 28

"Ready to go Bella?" he asked.

"Yep, just let me grab my bag."

Edward was taking me out on a date. Talking to him recently had proven to both of us that it was pointless trying to fight it.

That still didn't stop the arguments and the constantly being confused as to what was going on between us.

The Volvo peeled away from the boarding house as we drove off.

"Where are we going?"

"Surprise!" he teased.

When we pulled up at the apartment I was confused.

He ran around to my door before I could even open it and opened it for me, holding on to my hand as we made our way through the door.

"Wait here" he said in the hallway, sliding silk around my eyes as a blindfold.

So we were eating in.

He was back moments later and led me down the hallway into the dining room. When he pulled the blindfold off I couldn't help but laugh. He had transformed the place, the table was pushed up against the wall and there was a giant beanbag on the floor, a domino's box on the floor in front of it, the big TV from the living room had been dragged into the corner and was paused at the start of the Breakfast Club, my favourite movie.

"This is BRILLIANT!" I laughed.

"Glad you like it" he said, wrapping his arms around me from behind and pulling me down onto his lap in the beanbag.

"I figured, we haven't really been all that traditional so far, so why not continue" I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Sounds good to me" I was surprised at how naturally we were acting around each other so soon, but decided not to question it.

-

After the movie was over and the pizza devoured I found my self comfortably still on Edward lap as I played with his hair. We hadn't kissed since February, and I was dying to kiss that crooked smile now, but had suddenly lost my nerve. He frowned as I pulled his hair up into a makeshift Mohawk giggling to myself at how funny he looked. I sighed when I realised that no matter what, he would still be the most gorgeous man alive.

"Bella, I'm ready"

I turned to look into his eyes, searching to see if he really was ready for this.

He started talking anyway.

"A few years ago, Bella, when my parents adopted me I had been in and out of hospital for ages, my real parents couldn't afford to pay the hospital bills anymore and abandoned me. They never found out what was wrong with me." He paused for a second, letting everything sink in.

"I met Tanya when I was in hospital, she had the same symptoms that I had. We bonded over that fact, but really we were completely different people."

"Half way through last year, Tanya died, completely out of the blue. She hadn't been too bad in a while, nothing had been bothering her, but I think it was stress. We had just had a fight and she left, upset, and I just let her drive off."

He was quiet for a minute, a blank expression on his face as he stared at the wall.

"She died in her sleep that night at her house, she had gone home to see her mother. If I hadn't been such a prick, and driven her out of the house, she might still be alive today Bella.

I wiped the tear off of his cheek before it could hit the floor

"The doctors have no idea how long I will live Bella. I could die any minute and there would be no warning. I don't want to hurt you Bella, and I never want to leave you once I make the commitment to stay."

My courage came back the second those words left his mouth, and a crashed my lips against his.

"Wherever you go, I will follow." I whispered in his ear.

"No Bella, you will not follow! Not till it's your time! Promise me!" I had known that he was going to say that.

"I love you Edward, I'll do anything for you." He took that as an 'I promise' and relaxed, kissing my forehead.

"I love you too"

**-**

**Well, I know it's a shitty chapter after all, and short as, but I'm stressed, sick and exhausted. This is where it might start to get a little angsty… well what do you expect? Edward has an incurable disease, that no one knows what it is… **

**I have made a few changes to the plot of this now, I think I told you that last chapter…. So just a little warning… it might go a little supernatural… but its not going to be vampires. Something different… not even sure myself yet. **

**Aaaaanyway…**

**Pretty please with Rob AND Kellan AND Jackson on top review! :P **

**Xx**

**Ally**


	5. July yeah bit of a jump lemon

**Wherever You Go**

**-**

**I'm back!**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**(Pip this one is for you, [even though you probs shouldn't be reading this] good luck at HOR, I know you'll do well…. WALFORD'S GOT THE SPRIRT!... yeah there's my cheering done)**

**Just to clear the air, I think some people were a little confused about last chapter… Edward's "incurable disease… may not be the same as Tanya's because they don't actually know what it is, this could just be Edward blowing things out of proportion, or he could actually be sick, you just have to wait and find out.**

**Anyway… **

**JULY!!!!!!! (yes we have skipped months! They just had lovey dovey stuff… you can fill in the blanks. Not that you will have missed anything. (no they will not have had sex, and yes Edward is still alive and kicking)**

**M FOR A REASON PEOPLE!**

**-**

Saturday 11 July

The sound of the ambulance pulling up was enough to pull me from my sleep. My first thought went straight to Edward as I jumped out of bed to see what was going on. But it wasn't Edward on the stretcher being taken out into the night. It was Alice. Edward was standing next to her, holding her hand as she lay there, her eyes scrunched up in pain.

"What happened?" I all but yelled, as no one seemed to notice me. I hadn't realised that I was crying until I felt Edwards arms wrap around me.

"Its ok love, she has broken her leg, she'll be fine." He said as he kissed my temple.

"Esme and I will go in with her, are you two okay here on your own?" Carlisle said as he threw a coat over the boxers he was wearing and walking out the door after Alice not even waiting for an answer.

"Yeah sure dad, we'll be fine" Edward muttered sarcastically under his breath.

"See you in the morning probably guys." Esme said as she rushed out the door after Carlisle, her silk nightgown billowing out behind her as she disappeared.

I looked up at the clock, and couldn't help but wonder at how Alice could break her leg at 2am.

"What actually happened?" I asked turning to Edward.

"She was on the roof trying to get phone signal to talk to Jasper" he sighed. We had been back on the farm for school holidays for a week or so, and the phone signal was so unpredictable here that it didn't surprise me that she was on the roof trying to get enough signal to talk to Jasper. I couldn't believe that they were still together. Rose had left for Forks at the start of the school holidays, and she and Emmett had hit it off as well. The parents thought the whole situation was pretty funny. Alice and Edward were planning to come back with me at the end of the year for Rose's last six months in America and going back with them.

"Are you going to go back to bed or do you want to watch a movie with me?" Edward asked. I turned in his arms to peck him on the nose.

"Movie with you of course"

"BEHAVE" Esme yelled out before the car pulled out of the driveway to chase after Alice in the ambulance.

Edward settled on the couch and turned the TV on with the remote and playing the movie that was left in the player. I settled between his legs and he wrapped his arms around me as we started watching the movie.

It was one that Alice had obviously bought, Factory girl about Edie Sedgwick and Andy Worhol. When it got to the sex scene, I couldn't help but squirm on Edwards lap, I could feel him pressed into my butt, and his arms tightened around me. I turned to press a kiss to his lips, which turned much more heated than I had originally intended. His tongue ran softly against my lips, begging for entrance as his hands snaked their way underneath the shirt I had borrowed from him to wear to bed. His hands leaving a trail of fire as his fingers traced lazy patterns up and down my stomach, stopping just under the bottom of my bra before tracing back down to the top of my boy leg undies.

I couldn't stop the whimper that escaped my lips when he moved away from my breasts again. I felt him grin against my mouth as he continued to kiss me gently, but kept his hand moving upwards this time, the trail of fire he was leaving growing more intense as he moved his hand to cup my breast. I kissed him harder in encouragement, begging him for more. His other hand kept drawing circles around my belly button, driving me insane with anticipation.

"Edward" I groaned, trying to get him to either stop or continue what he started.

He just laughed and started kissing up my neck, pausing when he got to my ear and pulling at it gently between his teeth.

If that didn't do me in, the then moved his hand to the top of my underwear and slowly started to drag his finger lightly across the top of the band around my hips. I growled at him, grabbing his hand away to pull him away and up to my room. He was going to finish this.

He looked dejected until I pulled him into my room and onto my bed.

"Are you sure Bella?"

It was then that I realised that I still wasn't completely ready and shied away a little.

"We don't have to do anything your not comfortable with love"

I knew I loved him for a reason.

"Will you just lie with me for a minute?" He nodded and crawled under the covers, wrapping his arms around me as I snuggled into his chest, still sexually frustrated, but not knowing exactly what I wanted.

I groaned again rolling over onto my back and staring at the ceiling.

"What's wrong love?"

"You're just too darn sexy for your own good that's what's wrong" I huffed. He laughed at me and pulled me back into his arms again to kiss me, his hands ghosting underneath my shirt again and tracing patterns on my back. Next thing I knew he was doing the ear trick again and I was mush in his arms. He chuckled and kissed my nose, staring into my eyes as his hands made their way around to my stomach again. His green orbs watching me carefully for any sign of uncomfort as his hand headed south.

I kissed him gently giving him permission as his hand disappeared under the waistband of my underwear, his cold fingers making me gasp as they teased and stroked, his eyes never left mine as they entered me, eliciting another gasp and moan as he continued until I could no longer bear the growing coil in my stomach. I rested my head on his shoulder, trying to stay reasonably quiet, but having a really hard time. I bit down on his shoulder as he kissed my neck and bought me to my release.

He held me and kissed me gently wherever he could reach until I fell asleep that night, completely content.

Tuesday July 14

"Bell, help me grab a bowl will you? These damn crutches make it hard to do anything!" Alice complained as she made her way into the kitchen.

"Geeze woman! You look so tired! What the hell have you been up too?"

I cringed at her loud voice. Edward had been sneaking into my room for the last few nights, and we hadn't been sleeping very well. He had to disappear for 'work' for the past couple of days, I don't know what he was really doing, but I suspected that he was going to the doctors and didn't want me to worry, even though his disappearing was making me more worried than necessary.

I grabbed a bowl for Alice and settled myself in front of my laptop in an attempt to get some holiday homework done. I had been putting it off and school went back again in a week.

_Hey beautiful, how is your day going? I wish I could be there for you today._

**Why's that gorgeous?**

_Cause Alice is on her rags and she has broken her leg, so I have left you to the wolves. _

**Damn you, evil man :P**

_I still love you! Forgive me?_

**Lol you have to work for it!**

_Oh I will, don't you worry about that ;-) _

_You excited about your surprise?_

**What surprise?**

_Well, I don't think that you really are stupid enough to believe im working (even though I sorta am) _

**Yeah, I figured that…. Whats my surprise? I hate surprises you know that!**

_Ha ha too bad! :P I'd better go cause break time is over. Xox love you sugar puff!  
_

**SUGAR PUFF??? Lol I love you too crème pie!**

_Tweedle dee!_

**Tweedle Dum!**

_Love muffin!_

**Sweet cheeks!**

_This is really lame :P lol id better do some work. Love you…. Honey bunch :P_

Friday 31 July

_Bell, I love you_

**Love you too sweetums. **

_I'm in hospital._


	6. August

**Wherever You Go**

**-**

**I promise I have a REALLY good reason why this took so long. MY SCHOOL BLOCKED FAN FIC! And seeing as I go to boarding school it is REALLY hard to update. Im sorry. Im doing my best. **

**Ok, this is where the M rating is earned… and yeah, first lemon… =S**

**Haha, I loved the reactions to the cliffie last chapter! Sorry I'm mean I know. **

**And yay RokinWriter FINALLY REVIEWED! Lol u no I love you, and I would reply to ur reviews… but I cant atm :( **

**This chapter is dedicated to:**

**Karina… for being the best penpal/ US bestie EVER! :P (and yeah yeah I will reply…. Eventually, I just thought you might appreciate an update more :P) I really should stop…. :P**

**And… Em Treloar, if you ever read this and I know you know why. NO 1 ON THE LIST BABE! WHOO! Lol (even if it is just wishful thinking and incredibly corny…)**

**Pip Woodard.. YOU ARE NOT TO READ THIS! (well the 8****th**** of August bit)**

**Songs: Feeling Good by Muse and Bliss by Muse**

**I'll shut up now**

**:P**

**-**

Saturday August 1 2010

After the tantrum I had thrown Carlisle and Esme had pulled Alice and I out of the boarding house for the weekend. I still hadn't even had a chance to see Edward, as they tuned up at 5am to pick us up. Apparently the nurses had taken his phone, unhappy with the fact that he was texting me. He had tried to reassure me that he was ok when I had called him in hysterics the night before, but didn't get enough of a chance to calm me down before the nurses stole his phone. Alice had come into my room in tears to tell me, only to discover that I already knew. Edward wasn't supposed to tell me.

I was in a daze the entire trip to the hospital and sat in the waiting room while Carlisle and Esme went to see him.

I had ten minutes with him. We weren't allowed to crowd him and there were so many people there to see him. When they were gone I wasn't going to leave his side.

I opened the door to his room and the tears leaked out again after I had fought so hard to stop them before I came into the room. He was looking away from me and out the window on the other side of the room. His skin was paler than usual and he had cords running everywhere. There was nothing that I could do and that just made it hurt even more.

I walked silently over to him and grabbed the hand he had rested on his chest. He didn't say anything, just looked at me and cupped my cheek in his had, wiping at my tears with the pad of his thumb.

My knees buckled and I fell into the seat behind me with a thud. He rolled over to look at me.

"You knew what you were getting into Bella" he reminded softly.

"I know, but that doesn't mean its going to hurt any less" I whispered, staring at my feet, unable to look him in the eye for some reason.

I was scared, sacred for him and scared for our relationship. This was the only thing that could ever get between us. We were walking on quicksand, nothing was going to go our way, and we only had so much time left.

"Bella, look at me my love" Edward cooed, lifting my chin with a slender finger.

"Don't be afraid, I'll be ok. I promise. As corny as it is, the last face I saw before I passed out this time was yours, you brought me back Bella, I was in a coma for a month last time." I bit the inside of my cheek to stop the sob threatening to escape my lips.

"My sweet Bella" he murmured, his hand still cupping my cheek as he leaned in to kiss me. As soon as his lips touched mine, I lost my train of thought. I reveled in the kiss, taking all the problems away at least for the time being.

Saturday August 8 2010

Alice and I were home for the weekend, I was looking forward to seeing Edward since he was out of the hospital. He wasn't allowed to do much, other than sit on the couch. I knew that that would drive him absolutely insane, but I was going to be there for him, as usual.

As soon as I walked in the door I knew something was wrong. He was sitting at the kitchen table glaring at the coffee cup in his hands. Alice shrugged and kissed the top of his head as she walked past to put her bags in her room. He didn't eve look up at her to say hi.

"Bella, take me for a drive? Please?"

I looked to Carlisle to see if it was ok and Edward jumped up as soon as he nodded.

He climbed into the passenger seat, mumbling his complaint at not being able to drive his own car.

"Where are we going Edward?"

He pointed down the drive and directed me around the outskirts of the small town I had come to know so well.

"Edward why don't you just tell me where we are going?"

"Cause we are just driving" he teased. I groaned. He grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently.

"Thanks Bella, I really needed to get out" I nodded and drove down to the jetty, parking in the lot looking out across the sea.

"Lets go sit on the beach"

Edward nodded and let go of my hand after kissing it tenderly, a smirk on his face.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow. He just shook his head and we spent the last few hours of light on the beach.

The night was fairly warm, and Edward wasn't ready to go home. We had parked the Volvo on top of the cliff, a fair way away from the private beach Edward had originally taken me too, but I couldn't see it in the dark anyway. We had turned the car stereo on and with the bass boost and the windows down we had gone to lie on the hood of the car in an attempt to stargaze even through the cloud filled sky. The headlights illuminated the sharp edge of the cliff, meters away from the car and beyond that a shimmer of light was visible on the dark raging ocean. The waves were crashing over the music as the wind picked up, still warm in the night.

Vibrations went through the car, the combination of the still running engine and the bass shook the car slightly. The stargazing had turned into watching a lightning storm rage its way across the ocean, heading down the coast across from the peninsula, towards Adelaide.

Edwards' fingers drew lazy patterns across the palm of my hand, lazily dancing across my flesh. I could feel him watching me as the feather light pressure tickled its way up my forearm to cup my face within his palm. He drew his face towards his and lightly kissed my lips. Pulling back he gauged my expression, his light green eyes darkening to a shimmering emerald as he slowly lifted himself up and started fiddling with the buttons at the bottom of my blouse.

Matthew Bellamy on the piano slipped into the second of silence between songs and his voice soon followed.

"_Birds flying high, you know how I feel" _His voice was drained out by Edward's breathy version whispered in my ear as he lay be back, my shirt now gone and shoved in through the open window of the car. Our lips connected again as I snaked my hand under Edwards shirt bringing it up over his head. I think it ended up next to my blouse, but I couldn't be entirely sure.

Edward's lips made their way from the corner of my mouth, kissing gently towards my ear.

"_It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life. For me, and I'm feeling good"_

I gasped as he gently bit on my ear lobe and pulled it downwards gently, teasing. I could feel his smirk against my neck as he peppered his way down with kisses to the valley of my breasts. He kept his eyes locked with mine as he reached behind me and unlatched my bra without any difficulties before throwing it into the growing pile of clothing, before returning to where he had left off. Thunder cracked around us and a trickle of water ran its way down my chest. He grinned as he watched it disappear between our flushed bodies.

It didn't take him long to return his attention to his previous ministrations as he drew my left nipple into his mouth and bit down lightly, constantly teasing. At some point I lost the rest of my clothing and Edward was left in a silken pair of green boxers, slowly dampening in the building rain. Looking at me questioningly he waited for me to nod before he took them off and threw them atop the pile in the car. He pushed me farther up the hood of the car, my skin squeaking against the wet surface. It was slippery, but not enough to slip off, more like enough to just hold you there. He grabbed at one of my feet, his wet hair slowly falling into his eyes as the rain pushed it down.

He kissed the sole of my foot and I clenched it from the ticklish feeling. The song changed to a more upbeat tempo, again Matthew Bellamy's voice surrounded us as Edward kissed his way up the inside of my leg. I couldn't focus on much more than him and the vibrations of the car beneath me as he made his way closer and closer to where I wanted him. He bit down on the inside of my knee, not hard enough to hurt and then ran his tongue over the tiny red marks he had left on my leg before blowing on it softly, repeating the action till he was on the inside of my thigh. He looked up at me and grinned before continuing up towards my navel, missing my heat.

The misting rain was cooling against my burning skin, Edward continued crawling up my body, hands planted either side of me, slipping every so often. His knee nudged my legs apart as he climbed onto the car, resting on top of me, kissing me softly he positioned himself over my entrance. He pulled back and started questioningly at me one last time before pushing in.

I couldn't contain the gasp that escaped my lips at the slight pain, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Edward grimaced when he heard, cupping my face in his hands before kissing me on the forehead.

We moved together, carefully at first, building the tension and the coil growing in my stomach. My gasps and moans were drowned out by the rain steadily building and the thunder still clapping away in the distance, even the music could barely be heard. The bass could still be felt though.

"Come for me baby" Edward's whisper I could hear clear as day.

--

Saturday 15th August 2009

I had a cold, and so did Edward. Neither of us cared though. When we had arrived back at the house Alice had drilled me for details and I refused to give them to her, and even though she was sitting on my bed on a Saturday morning at 6am with a mug of chamomile tea and panadol for my raging headache I still couldn't begin to think about telling her without blushing.

"Bella! I'm up at this godforsaken hour of the morning so that you can get better, but in return you MUST tell me what went down with my brother last Saturday night!"

I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as I avoided her question, fiddling with my phone and waiting from a text from Edward.

"Bella!" Alice grabbed my phone from my hand dangling it in front of me, teasing. She wasn't going to give it back.

"Fine!"

"Really? You'll tell me!"

"I had sex with your brother, on the hood of his car, in the rain! Happy, little miss nosy?" I asked.

For once Alice was silent.

For a few seconds at least.

"YOU WHAT?"

"um… you heard me" I snatched my phone she had dropped and made a dash for the bathroom.

Alice was rolling on the floor laughing as I shut the door. Literally, rolling around, on the floor, laughing.

I scowled at her as I shut the door, texting Edward to tell him that we were busted.

_That's ok love, I have a surprise for you next weekend. Xx E_

_You know I hate surprises! What it it? Xx B_

_Secret Xx E_

_Hardy har har, Har…. Tell me! Please? xx B_

_Carlisle is letting me borrow the plane. Xx E_

_Seriously? Xx B_

"BELLA! Get out of the bathroom RIGHT NOW, stop texting my brother and come talk to me!" Alice screeched.

"Jeeze Al, its 6am, everyone with half a brain is still sleeping!"

_Yeah, and I have somewhere I want to take you! Xx E_

_Cant wait! Wait? You can fly? Ig2g, your sister is nagging me again xx love you. _

_I can FLY! :P xx E_

_Don't mock me. Xx B_

I opened the door to Alice standing tapping her foot, hands on hips. She flung her arms around me as I opened the door.

"Bella finally lost her V plates!"

"What like you haven't?"

"Course I have! Middle of a footy oval in the middle of the night. There was a party at the club, I still don't know how we didn't get caught!"

"Wait are you talking about that one we went to when Jazz…" I trailed off as she nodded her head.

"ALICE CULLEN!" she just giggled and danced back to sit on my bed, but she looked more solemn as she sat down

"I miss him you know"

"I know Ally, so do I"

**Last bit of fluff….. Me thinks, but I could always change my mind. **

**Im going to try and get ahead so that when I get a chance I can update a few chapters at a time to make up for my school being so lame and blocking me!**


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